The Soiled Ramblings of Chris Hopkinson

Intelligence and Reason...on YouTube!

2009-09-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

There is no shortage of feisty rebuttals to the multitude of creationist flim flam on the Internet, and although nearly all are extremely valid, the numerous videos, essays and forum posts can appear to be repeating the same facts over and over. I myself thought I had heard every possible point of conjecture against the bullshittery that is intelligent design. That was until I was directed too a YouTube film maker by the user name thunderfOOt whose gift for intellectual dissection and thought provoking parallels have left me in awe of his work. The sheer intelligence of thunderfOOt's argument through science and philosophy would surely compound even the most "Qualified" creationist backing them into a corner they can only escape with their most powerful force - Denial.

Check out his work now and subscribe to his channel now and remember, thank God for Atheism.

I'm Back in Black Bitches!

2009-09-13T02:34:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd given up eh? Jesus titting-fucking Christ NO! Just been busy moving from the desolate land of Bendigo to the greener pastures of Geelong. That and also I haven't had the Internet until now...

Shits and Giggles with an Exorcist

2009-05-28T19:03:00.000-07:00

Run for the hills bitches cos we're apparently all under attack. No, not by terrorist Muslims but by the insurgent armies of Satan. I'm talking about possession baby! No doubt you've heard countless stories of terrifying exorcism experiences. I know I have and I thought I had heard it all. That was until recently when I engaged in correspondence with an American Pastor and well known "exorcist" Christopher Ward. I had emailed him questioning some of the claims on his website that his reprensentaion on the TV show Penn & Teller: Bullshit was completely misrepresented. All I got was a reply that dodged my questions and accused Penn Jillette of being a witch and a sponsored member of the illuminati *cough* he also attached a copy of his book: Case Files of an Internet Exorcist. Now if you think the book of Genesis is hard to swallow check out some of Christopher Ward's exciting claims:

- There are hordes of incubus and/or succubus that are sexually defiling otherwise good people on a nightly basis. In one case a 75 year old widow who claimed to achieve orgasm every 3o minutes in night long sex sessions with an incubus in the form of her dead husband.

- Marijuana is a 'spiritual gateway' drug that opens you up to demonic attacks.

- Demons removing smoke detectors in order to torment victims with unexplained fires.

- Jesus helped remove a Satanic tattoo from a teenagers arm, all she did was pray then go to sleep.

- Pornography is actually demon possessed.

- A "possessed" woman proved that she indeed had demons by pulling out her hair then dropping the strands into a basin of water, the hair strands moved by some unseen force to spell out the numbers, 666. (I get the same thing but my hair spells 1800 chickswithdicks)

- Christopher Ward had witnessed Demonic levitation many times.

- God (via Christopher Ward) has cured people of cancers and in one chapter a family in Africa stricken with Malaria.

- Tattoos are the sign of the beast - "they are nothing more than a form of blood covenant.."

- And finally - Christopher Ward has viles of incubus semen that apparently is cold when ejaculated. Mr Ward has submitted the samples for testing a few times but no one seems willing or unafraid to test it.

I'd like to say one thing though. Mr Ward was quite a friendly man. I actually reckon he's a pretty decent bloke. He does not charge for his services and most of the time he is exorcising people who are nutbar Christians anyway. But he does continue the Christian tradition of reducing most sexual acts to pure evil while at the same time talking about its specifics with a certain zest they themselves get off on. Maybe its just Mr Ward envies the wild succubi? After all it sounds like they have a great time!

Remembering the 40oz. to Freedom

2009-05-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

Recently my fiance and I were playing Guitar Hero on our wii cranking out random songs to a few cold Jimmys when she began playing Santeria by the band Sublime. I couldn't believe that I had not heard this song in years! It instantly brought back so many memories from my awkward and fun mid teens, lazy summers at the beach and the drunken but friendly open house parties that raged every Saturday night where I grew up in New Zealand.

I also remembered just how popular Sublime are in NZ especially compared to Australia. In Oz they are known but not widely known. Only those who possess a wide and varied musical palette seem to know and love them. I remember being at a flat warming of a couple of NZ mates in Melbourne, when we put on a Sublime CD all of the majority Aussie party-goers ordered us to "turn that shit off!" Strange that a musical sound cooked perfectly on inner-Californian beach culture should resonate so well In NZ but not in Oz.

I can I only guess as to why this is so. But the day after hearing Santeria I rummaged through my Cd's and found my best of Sublime album and began listening to all the old songs that were at one point like the soundtrack of my teens. Wrong Way, Date Rape, Two Joints, and my favourite Doin' Time.

If you don't know their music I urge you to discover it but take one sad note: Shortly before Sublime exploded on the music scene in 1996, lead singer Bradley Nowell died from a heroin overdose just two months before their breakthrough LP. What great songs that could have been, we can only guess.

They're Just a Pack of Fags...

2009-04-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

Recently during my occasional scouring of what's new on YouTube I came across a doco starring Keith Allen (Lily Allen's Dad) called Keith Allen is Going to Hell! From the title you can guess it is a dig at right wing Christians, but which right wing Christians in particular? Only the wackiest, inbred, maniacal Church of all time: Westboro Baptist Church.

What's great about this documentary is it does what we should all be doing to this small bad of idiots - make fun of them and use them for a laugh! You see it is sad that we even know the name of Westboro or Fred Phelps in the first place, the whole warped affair that is the Phelps Family is a torrent of Hate-filled hog wash that that should never have ventured out side of Topeka Kansas. But since it has, the best thing to do with these fact resisting ignorami is to use them as a king of comedic punching bag. Don't protest against them, go up to a male follower and crack on to him. Don't try and argue with them it's a waste of oxygen they're dumb. Instead try to tickle there bum's with a 18 inch dildo or dress up like a monkey the simulate the process of masturbation. These people are mentally ill. Anger and violence towards them is what they want, expect and see as God's work. Instead just Psych'em out with good old fashioned smut!

My personal contributions to the comedy that is Westboro is linked below as is another YouTube video where a large group of students in America demonstrate the proper way to treat a Phelps.

Hail Satan!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMzWBTi08Hs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8nwrc46euI&feature=related

The One Thing We All Must Face...

2009-04-07T02:05:00.000-07:00

Three days ago my Brother rang up for a chat and towards the end of the call he told me some news he had just heard from his girlfriend back in New Zealand. A bloke we both went to school with called Daniel had been involved in a traffic accident in London and was apparently in a coma with not long to live.

The bloke in question was to me only an acquaintance, but I can tell you that I know he was a great guy who never had a bad word to say about anybody. I am friends with his younger sister so I quickly made contact with her to pass on my best wishes. However a day later I received the sad news that he had died. Fit and healthy at the peak of his life, and in the space of 48 hours, gone forever. Nothing.

Friends back in New Zealand are now pooling a fund to bring his body home for the funeral, a task his parents are undertaking as I write this. I can only imagine their pain.

Death is a part of life, it is the way the world works. Yes, but when something like this happens to someone you knew, someone just like you, you can be struck with an odd feeling such as I have been these past days. You see it can be a hard slap of self-analysis when all of a sudden you realise your own mortality. Death - Some revel in it, hide in it, obsess over it. Whether for posturing shock value, misguided concepts or even for comfort. But most people (like me) consider it a daily possibility but much rather a long distant finishing in the future with hundreds of events to precede it. You know I'm sure Daniel felt that way too right up to the day of the accident. It's this concept that has caused me much inner thought.

As one who has never feared death, even considered my own eventual demise as just another chance for a laugh (I'm having a joke gravestone) I find myself stricken with anxiety about what if it was me? Compounding this is the beliefs I've adopted in the last few years. Raised Catholic I renounced my Christianity about four years ago and went looking down different paths that included everything from Spiritualism to Buddhism. Although I dabbled in the latter I eventually became content with a healthy hatred of organised religions and a greater respect for the processes of logical thought and personal responsibility and choice. Not quite unimaginative to be Atheist I am now Agnostic; willing to accept that there maybe more beyond this life, but consider the more likely outcome to be a slow decomposition within a wooden box.

As I lay up last night thinking about Daniel's family I put the question to myself: Where is the person he was now? You know what, I can't answer that and I don't believe anyone can. Some will be outraged by that statement because of their respective "GOD" and others might scoff because they believe there is nothing out there watching us and death is dead, nothing else. I don't believe in Buddha, God, Allah, Satan, Angels and Demons. But I don't really care about that at this sad moment of tragedy because there is one truth above all that bullshit - Life is precious! Enjoy your life and help others enjoy there's. LIFE IS PRECIOUS.

It's Not Baaaaad (crap joke I know)

2009-03-25T14:56:00.000-07:00

The true sign of a great kids TV show or movie is when the story and humour can be enjoyed by both the youngest and oldest members of the family. Having three children myself I have become quite accustom to the huge array of entertainment presented before today's child. Although my kids might love them most do not impress me too much, some I absolutely loathe e.g LAZY TOWN, WONDER PETS and the clearly acid trip inspired IN THE NIGHT GARDEN. But i saying that there are a few that I make sure to be free to sit down and watch with the youngins. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, any Disney\Pixar movie and my true favourite: SHAUN THE SHEEP!

This simple yet hilarious stop\capture animation is made by the same people who brought us WALLACE & GROMIT and once again they didn't let down. There's never any dialogue so the story relies on the characters facial expressions and odd noises and the story's are always enough to make me laugh.

If you haven't seen SHAUN THE SHEEP before follow the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnNWqB8Jztw&feature=related

People For Eating Tasty Animals!

2009-03-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

The image of CFA firefighter David Tree giving a drink to an injured Koala now known as "Sam" has become the eternal symbol of the tragic Victorian Bushfires, typifying Aussie grit and resilience in the face of disaster. Millions around the world connected with the powerful image of lost innocence and the soulful bond between man and animal.

So not surprisingly the media sluts at PETA (people for the ethical treatment of animals) were quick to jump on the Sam the Koala bandwagon by awarding Mr Tree a Hero to Animals Award for his efforts. PETA director Jason Baker said this:

"The compassion that David Tree showed in caring for Sam is an inspiration to others throughout the community and beyond."

Its no shock that PETA want to be seen as the moral high ground of saving the cute and cuddly. And what normal Australian (like David Tree) would disagree, Animal's should be treated ethically. But that's not the whole story of PETA's agenda. If the average Australian knew what the world would be like if PETA had their way there would be no way in HELL David Tree would be willing to accept this "award".

Here is what PETA means when they say ethical treatment (Note: all this information is found on the official PETA website PETA.org)

-Horse and Greyhound racing to be banned as well as the cruel practice of making horses pull carriages. That's right no more Melbourne Cup.

- No Fishing! Not even catch and release because that can be even more cruel (?) PETA using debated science here.

- No Zoos, PETA believes Zoo's treat animals as commodities and routinely dump unwanted animals. Come on! Imagine being an animal in a Zoo? No predators, unlimited food and free health care.

- No predator-reintroduction programs, you see its stressful for predators to be caught and released! They wander! And get hurt! It is well documented that rivers eroded and trees stopped growing in Yellowstone park the same year that the Wolf population was wiped out, and that saplings only returned once the Wolves were returned 25 years later. Why? Wolves chase deer, deer stir up dust, dust disperses seeds and makes saplings, beavers chew down saplings and make dams, dams stop erosion.

- NO medical testing on animals, PETA opposes the American Cancer Society, and the Muscular Dystrophy Association as they believe that millions of animals die needlessly in medical research labs in the quest to find new cures. They also insist: "Meaningful scientific conclusions cannot be drawn about one species by studying another." This is an outright lie. The fact is we could not have bio-medicine without animal testing, the vaccines that save millions of lives each year were all derived from animal testing. Imagine if polio were still rampant? Would you rather have animal testing to stop it or your child spend their life shut inside an iron lung? Easy choice.

This is perhaps the worst tenant of PETA's fucked up doctrine of animal liberation. As PETA's founder Ingrid Newkirk has famously stated: "Even if animal tests produced a cure for AIDS, we’d be against it." PETA loves animals over humans! They have routinely compared the Nazi holocaust of the Jews to the abattoir killings of chickens and cattle, and have targeted children as young as six with campaigns for the vegan lifestyle with slogans like: "Mum and Dad are Murderers!" Simply put, PETA are irrational, lying idiots.

David, please don't accept this award from these vegan nutjobs.

Hey Uncle Francis!

2009-03-18T02:09:00.000-07:00

While attempting to research my family history via the net I stumbled across many famous fellow Hopkinsons, but one seemed to stand above the rest even though I’d never heard of him before. And proberly neither have you! So introducing thanks to the magic of Wikipedia: Francis Hopkinson – A Life:

“Francis Hopkinson was born at Philadelphia in 1737, the son of Thomas Hopkinson and Mary Johnson. He became a member of the first class at the College of Philadelphia (now University of Pennsylvania) in 1751 and graduated in 1757, receiving his masters degree in 1760. He was secretary to a Provincial Council of Pennsylvania Indian commission in 1761 that made a treaty with the Delaware and several Iroquois tribes. In 1763, he was appointed customs collector for Salem, New Jersey.
Hopkinson spent from May 1766 to August 1767 in England in hopes of becoming commissioner of customs for North America. Although unsuccessful, he spent time with the future Prime Minister Lord North and his half-brother, the Bishop of Worcester Brownlow North, and painter Benjamin West.
After his return, Francis Hopkinson operated a dry goods business in Philadelphia and married Ann Borden on September 1, 1768. They would have five children. Hopkinson obtained a public appointment as a customs collector for New Castle, Delaware on May 1, 1772. He moved to Bordentown, New Jersey in 1774, became an assemblyman for the state's Royal Provincial Council, and was admitted to the New Jersey bar on May 8, 1775. He resigned his crown-appointed positions in 1776 and went on to represent New Jersey in the Continental Congress from June 22 to November 30, 1776 where he signed the Declaration of Independence.
As part of the fledgling nation's government, Hopkinson served on the Navy Board at Philadelphia in 1777; was treasurer of the Continental Loan Office in 1778; was appointed judge of the Admiralty Court of Pennsylvania in 1779 and reappointed in 1780 and 1787; and helped ratify the Constitution during the constitutional convention in 1787. On September 24, 1789, he was nominated by President George Washington to the newly created position of judge of the United States District Court for the District of Pennsylvania. He was confirmed by the United States Senate, and received his commission, on September 26, 1789.
As a federal judge, Hopkinson died in Philadelphia at the age of 53 from a sudden epileptic seizure. He was buried in Christ Church Burial Ground in Philadelphia. He was the father of Joseph Hopkinson, member of the United States House of Representatives and Federal judge.”

Yeah Well I once accidentlly slammed a fridge door on my own head!

Homo and Away

2009-03-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

As I was waiting at the counter of my local servo the other day I noted with interest the front-page story of Herald Sun that was sitting in a pile nearby: Home and Away's lesbian romance angers conservative groups. Allo, what’s all this then? Of course I wasn’t really that surprised. Australia has its fair share of loud mouthed conservative organisations and it was only a matter of time before one of the regular soapies corralled some veiwers with a girl on girl plot.
But then I read what the conservative group Pro-Family Perspectives had to say: "They (Home and Away) continue to market to kids and they continue to develop quite sexualised plot lines. The plot lines that young kids and teenagers should be presented with should be about really authentic relationships that are not just sexualised." These are the words of Angela Conway, fuckehead and director of Pro-Family Perspectives. You know I’d like to hear what she considers “authentic relationships”. Proberly the 16 year old boy coming around to the girls house dressed in a suit an tie with a pink carnation in hand, greeting her parent’s with Mr and Mrs and assuring her father he’ll have her home by 9.30pm after they grab a quick malt at the diner. Jesus titty-fucking Christ! It is 2009!
This isn’t the first time Angela has spouted off shit. When Home and Away’s rival Neighbours had a character fall preganant at 17 this was her rant: "It (teenage pregnancy) is not something that should be considered the norm and some of these programs like Neighbours can make the behaviours that lead to teenage pregnancy seem normal and acceptable," That’s right you dirty little strumpet! Getting pregnant before your 29 and married! How dare you have sexual inclinations as a teenager!
I find that slightly offensive as my wife was herself a young Mum at 16 and she has been a far better parent than many people much older than her. Was it hard for her to have a baby at 16? Of course, it is the tail end of childhood. But it’s also the beginning of adulthood. Young Mum’s and young person who is discovering their sexuality needs respect and support, not condemnation, told their immoral and to be socially ostracized.The real issue here for me is that these asshole groups can spout there crap and get published when what we should be doing is closing our ears and walking away singing “Bla, bla,bla.”

Tales of the Galatic Thetans!

2009-03-03T00:10:00.000-08:00

The other night I managed to catch the BBC documentary Scientology and Me by the Panorama journalist John Sweeney. First aired a couple of years ago I had heard of this particular TV investigation into the mysteriously retarded Church of Scientology and the extreme reactions of the “church” members during filming.
If your looking for any possible answers on what Scientologists actually believe this documentary wont help, but what it does demonstrate quite dramatically is the extent this so-called religion will go to prevent any criticism whatsoever.
Nearly every time John Sweeney tried to conduct an interview or mention the word “cult” he would be ambushed by this self-righteous wanker called Tommy Davis who would harp incessantly that Sweeney was a bigot promoting intolerance with pre-conceived conceptions about Scientology. Honestly it was painful to watch the muck dragging ambush tactics used by this tosser to counter the most miniscule criticism, something Scientologists call “Fair Game”. The documentary tries to show this shameful Scientology practise as it does its other concepts like “disconnecting” (severing families apart) and the evils of Psychiatry (which is to be blamed for the Holocaust among other things) but time and time again Sweeney is attacked, his car followed, spied on at his hotel and unable to get his own camera’s away from Tommy Davis’s. It’s amazing to see the massive reaction the Church has just because someone does not agree that a piss weak electronic device can change your life.
So it got me thinking:
If I insult Scientology will they suddenly try to sue me and dig through my past?
I’m going to try!
- Scientology is a ludicrous Pseudo-religion dreamed up by a science-fiction hack that smoked too much wacky tobacky.
- John Travolta can shove both of his e-meter prongs fair up his ass (I’m sure he’ll enjoy that though)
- Scientology is a CULT. Not only that they are a CULT with something to hide.Well that should be sufficient. Just in case it isn’t – CULT! CULT! CULT! CULT! CULT!

God and the Bushfires

2009-02-25T20:21:00.001-08:00

The Oxford Dictionary defines Asshole as the hole in the ass that spits out shit. Therefore Asshole is the best description of Pastor Fred Phelps.
The recent bushfires that ravaged Victoria wiping out whole towns and killing hundreds shocked this whole nation to the core. One thing that this shocking disaster has shown is the generosity of the ordinary person to stand up and help their fellow Australians. Thousands of volunteers fought fires, rescued families and distributed aid while millions of dollars poured in from all over Australia within a matter of hours to help the survivors pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.
But sadly as with any major catastrophe the bushfires has also brought out the worst of human behaviour.
- Firstly it was discovered that brazen looters disguised as police officers and CFA personnel were raiding abandoned properties for tools and money and even sifting through the burnt remains of some houses for whatever items of value were left.
- Not long after the Rudd government announced emergency $5000 payments to all victims who had lost family a Woman was caught trying to claim for her deceased father who turned out to be alive and well.

- Then came the sanctimoniuos shits from the ill-named 'Catch the Fire Ministries' a Pentecostal church in Sydney who declared the fires were punishment from God against the people of Victoria for recently allowing the decriminalisation of abortion to occur. Pretty stupid huh?
- Then there was Fred Phelps.
Some of you might know of this lunatic. He’s the Pastor of Westboro Church in Kansas and he preaches the rhetoric of a vengeful and very pissed of God who ay every opportunity unleashes his wrath on a sinful mankind. Phelps and his loyal band of religious fuck-heads made headlines about a decade ago when they started picketing the funerals of gay men with big colourful signs brandished with slogans like: “GOD HATES FAGS” and “FAGS DIE, GOD LAUGHS!” As if that wasn’t offensive enough the good Pastor and his followers have in recent years begun picketing the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq. This time chanting: “GOD HATES AMERICA, GOD LOVES DEAD SOLDIERS!” Why? Well Pastor Phelps has read the bible and has decided that the 4,000 plus military deaths in Iraq are simply God’s vengeful hand punishing America for accepting homosexuality. But it is not just the USA that has to put up with this wanker loudly jabbering his hate filled shit, the whole world is in the firing line.
So with the recent mass destruction in Australia it was obvious to Pastor Phelps why such a tragedy had occurred:
"The guilty Australians will not repent of their national sins of the flesh - (ie sodomy, divorce, fornication, adultery, etc) - even after God killed hundreds in the fires and cast them into hotter fire and brimstone in Hell. God hates Australia. Thank god for fiery deaths of hundreds.”
This guy can’t be serious right? But oh yes he his. Aside from his congregation praying for more deaths in the bushfires Pastor Phelps announced he would be travelling to Melbourne last Sunday for our national day memorial to picket the official rememberance service.
Just to clarify – This small group of religious idiots were going to march around outside Rod Laver Arena with their big colourful signs reading: “AUSSIES BURN IN HELL.” And chant thanks to God for killing so many. All the time being surrounded by thousands of mourning and some very upset Australians.
Pastor Phelps clearly doesn’t believe suicide earns you a fast train to Hell.
Did he succeed? No one seems to know. Pastor Phelp’s website GodHatesFags.com officially lsited the planned picket yet the media here has not reported any such protest nor did they mention if he was turned back at the border like he has been in Canada and the U.K. So I’m assuming it didn’t happen at all. The cowards knew there was no way they would be able to leave Australia in one piece. And you know what I’m glad the media has been strangely quiet on this, cos this is just Pastor Phelps doing what he do’s best – Harping on like the old hate-filled sack of shit he his despearte for anyone to cop a whack of his warped view of Christian values. KKK anyone?

Greetings Fellow Mortals.

2009-02-23T22:48:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my first ever post on The Soiled Ramblings of Chris Hopkinson: A place to display my opinions on absolutely anything. In this blog I will tackle a wide variety of topics like Movies, Art, Science, Religion, Music, Life in General and various other Social Commentary. I have been told to start my Blog with something catching perhaps something a little controversial so here it goes.

-The Pope has no penis.

Thank you and Goodnight.